How Much Should You Value Other People’s Opinions?

Has someone ever said something to you which made you upset and you wonder why it upset you so much? Sometimes other people’s opinions of you can be very important, like when a loved one says it and it holds truth. Other times, people are just being unreasonable and grumpy and you should pay no attention to their words of criticism.

In a recent Reddit post, user jimmy_2_times_ shared a very insightful thought that he had about valuing other people’s opinions of you while keeping things in a healthy perspective:

“I was meditating and coming up against some old issues that really seemed hard to let go of. I haven’t been able to realize this for years until just now, that how much importance we give to someone dictates how much their words and actions impact us. For example, if someone you consider to be really important says something good about you, it will make you feel alot better about yourself than say if someone who you’d consider to be not important said the same thing. It also works the same way if that person said something bad about you, you might end up feeling bad for weeks afterwards where as it might not affect you at all if the other person said it.

My point is that all of this is simply illusion, the importance we give someone or something is created solely within the mind. It doesn’t really matter who says what, it’s only our minds that make out certain things to be bigger than others. The mind is always looking for validation from external sources mainly being other people, so if you’re trapped in your mind your sense of worth will always be at the mercy of external circumstances. Next time someone says something that hurts you, ask yourself why am I giving this person so much importance. What is it about them that makes me see them this way. As you do this the illusion may start to lose it’s grip on you, hope this helps someone out there.”

Click here to see the Reddit thread: Link.

There is a person I know that would leave me feeling upset far too often after interacting with them. It took me awhile to realize that I was giving them that power by valuing what they said and feeling like I owe them the time of day even when they were being grumpy and unreasonable. After hearing many other people mention how difficult this person was, things came into perspective and I asked myself why I was assigning this person the importance that is necessary to be able to upset me. Once I realized they weren’t deserving of that level of importance and respect, things snapped into place. Now instead of letting them get me down, I think to myself, “Oh that’s just “so-and-so” and they’re always in that bad vibration and I refuse to let myself be dragged down to their level.” I realized that I don’t owe them anything: I don’t owe them my time or even a conversation. I feel I need to treat them with kindness however, not because they deserve it, but because that’s the person I’ve chosen to be and also because they’re the ones who need it the most.

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